We do NOT reap what we sow . The way to a man’s heart is NOT through his stomach . Still waters do NOT run deep … and more

JUST about everything that is popularly believed to be true is, in fact, wrong – dead wrong, important new studies confirm.

“If you think you reap what you sow, if you think you meet people for a mysterious ‘reason’ and not just by chance, if you think beauty is only skin deep, you’re wrong – and that’s just for starters,” Dr. Philip Moore Hartley stated in a letter to the prestigious British journal, Statistics Observer, and confirmed for me in an exclusive interview.

“You’re also wrong if you think the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, if you think women talk more than men, and if you think fat folks are jollier than everybody else.

“The list of popular beliefs that are erroneous is as long as your arm and leg combined,” he added.

“The fact is, most of us live in what amounts to little more than a fantasy world of cliches, truisms, lies and old wives’ tales that have no more basis in reality than a child’s imaginary playmate.

“I’m not saying this is bad – it most certainly isn’t,” he continued. “Suicide rates would shoot off the charts if people had to face the cold, hard facts of life without ‘comforting’ beliefs to protect them from the horror of admitting that for most of us, life is not only meaningless, it is miserable – and it won’t get any better.

“Not in this lifetime or any other.”

Dr. Hartley cited literally hundreds of studies dating back to the late 1940s that show there is “a night-and-day difference” between reality as it exists – and reality as we like to “pretend” it exists.

To illustrate, he compiled an eye-opening list of humanity’s Top 10 Most Popular Beliefs followed by the statistical reality that debunks all of them. Here it is:

Belief No. 1: You reap what you sow.

“Not so,” declared Dr. Hartley. “In fact, studies show that only 13 percent of people reap what they sow in four key areas – financial security, emotional security, general happiness and personal prestige.

“This means 87 percent of us aren’t getting what we deserve – either good or bad. We are not reaping what we sow – and we never will.”

Belief No. 2: Things always work out for the best.

“Quite the contrary, things always work out for the worse,” said Dr. Hartley.

“Things might work out okay in the short term,” he added. “But in the long run, all things deteriorate, disintegrate or die – and then something new and different pops up in its place.

“This is the unstoppable nature of reality itself. Nothing gets better. Nothing lasts. This is why everybody fears change and is terrified of the future.”

Belief No. 3: The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

“Only if he’s impotent or lives in the drought-plagued Sudan,” said Dr. Hartley. “In fact, there’s never been a study that hasn’t shown most men respond better to sex than food.”

Belief No. 4: We meet other people for mysterious “reasons” rather than by chance.

“Studies tells us that people like to think they meet other people, such as soul mates, who somehow ‘complete and fulfill’ them in ways that could only be orchestrated by a divine power,” said Dr. Hartley.

“What they fail to recognize, and study after study confirms this, is that most of us are equally ‘fulfilled’ by dogs, cats, goldfish, a bowl of candy, stereo gear, TV sets, fancy cars and a big house.

“There’s nothing mysterious about any of this,” he added. “The fact is, humans are shallow and are easily fulfilled.”

Belief No. 5: Still waters run deep.

“It’s commonly believed that men and women who are shy and don’t talk much are lost in thought and smarter than other folks,” said Dr. Hartley.

“In fact, studies show us that shy, introverted individuals usually have just average intelligence. They also are far more likely than the average person to suffer mental or emotional disturbances. In far too many instances, these ‘still waters’ are little more than ‘walking time bombs’ just waiting to explode.”

Belief No. 6: Beauty is only skin deep.

“Studies confirm that physically attractive men and women tend to be smarter, happier, healthier and more successful than people who are less attractive or downright ugly,” said Dr. Hartley.

“So beauty reflects more than mere appearances – it speaks volumes about a person’s character, psychological stability, health and intelligence, which tend to be as ‘beautiful’ as their faces.”

Belief No. 7: Women talk more than men.

“Women cry and complain more than men,” said Dr. Hartley. “But dozens of studies confirm that when it comes to counting the words that come out of their mouths, men out-talk women at a rate of almost two words to one.”

Belief No. 8: Fat people are jollier than slim folks.

“Nothing could be further from the truth,” said Dr. Hartley. “Studies show that 80 to 85 percent of fat people are terribly unhappy and seldom joke or laugh. They simply do not feel good about themselves.

“A similar belief, that fat people, particularly women, have ‘hearts of gold’ doesn’t jibe with reality, either. Studies indicate that far from being generous, kind and loving, a clear majority of fat people are petty, grasping, greedy, gluttonous and conniving – hardly traits you would ascribe to someone with a ‘heart of gold.’”

Belief No. 9: All men are created equal.

“People like to think they have as much on the ball as everyone else but it just isn’t so,” said Dr. Hartley. “If you don’t believe me, get yourself a blackboard and a couple of boxes of chalk and try working out a few of Einstein’s equations.

“Don’t feel bad if you can’t do it – I struggle on a couple of them myself.”

Belief No. 10: Ugly “ducklings” grow up to be beautiful “swans.”

In fact, said Dr. Hartley, “studies show that fewer than 10 percent of homely children grow up to be beautiful adults.”

“In that regard, if you or your child is less than beautiful, stop worrying about your looks and learn to take pride in things you can do something about.

“You’ll be sorely disappointed if you sit back and do nothing, believing that your ugly will turn pretty all by itself. It won’t.”

- DEREK CLONTZ for derekclontz.com. Copyright (c) 2008 Derek Clontz/4-Page Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

Question? Comment? Write: dc@derekclontz.com Derek reads and responds to every e-mail sometimes within minutes, always within one business day.

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