Derek Clontz

Archive for November 2008

Jim Jones is alive and back in the U.S.: Cult leader vanished in jungle after Jonestown followers died in mass suicide

In Can this be true?, gee whiz, hey, odd, offbeat, office talk, straight poop, trivia, wild world on November 26, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Copyright (c) 2008 Derek Clontz/4-Page Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

The notorious Reverend Jim Jones, evil architect of the 1978 Jonestown massacre, is alive and back in America – planing another mass suicide that could wipe out thousands of men, women and children, a police source says.
 
The sinister cult boss – who ordered the death of 900  followers at his religious camp in Jonestown, Guyana

guaranteed-potency jungle herb for 96 different illnesses will come in handy after economic and social collapse.

Una de Gato: guaranteed-potency jungle herb for 96 different illnesses will come in handy after economic and social collapse.

- survived the mass poisoning and escaped, the lawman said.

 
He returned to the United States in 1986 from South America and, in hiding, secretly has rebuilt his religious empire, attracting thousands of followers through Internet sites and private chatrooms.
 
Now the paranoid preacher is convinced authorities are after him – and once again, he plans to lead his devoted disciples to their deaths.
 
“We have reliable reports that Reverend Jones has established yet another large religious commune, this time in the mountains of the West – apparently Utah or Idaho,” says the police source, who spoke on condition of anonymity.
 
“We believed Jones had died of a gunshot wound to the head, but apparently the body found there was so badly mutilated that the identification was botched.
 
“We now know that he escaped, returned to this country and gathered devoted followers at a new religious center over the last seven years.”
 
Authorities say Jones has amassed a flock of at least 2,000 – and possibly as many as 5,000 – men, women and children.
 

Meet the world’s dumbest pets: we love ‘em sure, but that doesn’t mean we have to pretend they’re rocket scientists!

In 5 minutes of fame, Believe it or not, Can this be true?, Pet Shows, Stupid Pets, animal rights, beverly hills chihuahua, celebrities, derek clontz, gee whiz, hey, odd, offbeat, office talk, stir fry, straight poop, wild world on November 13, 2008 at 4:21 pm

Fast Fact: A staggering 150 million Americans own pets. Dogs are the most popular, followed by cats, birds, fish, snakes, hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits and, believe it or not, fancy imported bugs, such as the Madagascan Hissing Roach and Giant Australian Stick Bug, which looks like a preying mantis and grows to the size of a basset hound!

Copyright (c) 2008 Derek Clontz/4-Page Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

Pets aren’t as smart as you think they are, especially when they do idiotic things like chew on live electrical cords or greedily lap vomit off the floor fearing you’ll get it before they do.

Best-Price Samento - $32 - from www.myherb.netBut not even those lapses in judgment can compare with the stone-cold stupidity of the critters that have just been named The World’s Dumbest Pets by Doody Treats, Inc., a Dallas, Texas-based company that makes poo-flavored snacks  for, who else? – pets that like to eat that stuff.

“People like to think their animals are smart, but, in fact, pets act like pea-brained idiots most of the time,” Doody Treats spokesman Candal Myller told me exclusively.

“For every bright thing they do, like bring in the morning paper, they’ll do 10 dumb things — like shred the side of your new couch with their claws or chew the seat belts in your car because you left them alone for two minutes while you ran into a 7-11 for a candy bar.”

And that’s mere child’s play compared to the shenanigans the firm’s contest winners pulled. Here they are:

o 36-24-36 – and don’t forget the gold! A burglar who broke into an upscale home in San Francisco couldn’t have found Read the rest of this entry »